Having played a MMORPG for a number of years, I can see the down side and my response will mostly be about the computerized gaming world.  People get addicted to it instead of their life. I have played with teens and adults who pretty much  gave up on their lives in favor of logging in to the game. Having no life is a running joke, but the sad punchline is that it's true in a lot of cases!  And the games, to some extent because they are so involved, cultivate this despite their 'helpful tips' to remember to go see your friends outside.  It would be nice if they catered better to casual players. If they get their monthly fees or whatever, why build it around a huge time investment to get the best stuff??  I don't see that as very ethical.
There are youtube videos and mad stories (real and exaggerated or made up) about kids going into these huge fits of rage when their parents finally catch a clue and then axe the account. I knew a young guy once whom I felt really was addicted and did throw a fit when his computer was taken away and that was before he had access to an account on the game I met him through. Refused to go school (didn't finish), refused to find a job, or to even go outside much.  In the case of a child, the parents bear some responsibility here, clearly.  But when grown adults get arrested because their house is completely filthy and their toddler children are crawling through it, malnourished with animal feces in their hair, there's no one to blame but them.  That's disgusting and shameful.  People get so involved with other people through games, they stalk them and in at least one case I know of, murdered the object of their 'affection'.  These are all examples of games gone terribly wrong.

I think it becomes a problem simply when you find yourself still sitting there hours later without meeting the regular demands of your day.  But I also think you can do that with a computer with no games involved.  I think once proven to be incapable of enjoying it in moderation, one should be responsible about it and cut it out.  When I see my son starting to get WoW-cracked out, I remove him until he loses that gleam in his eye and I throw him outside.  I think it can be manageable and it can be a fun way to blow off some steam or to make casual friends, or play with some you know.  I feel like if I don't teach my sons and daughters how to treat and handle games, they could make really bad decisions with it later.  Gaming isn't going anywhere.  If I flat deny them, I'm kind of paving the path for them to get all obsessive when they're on their own.  I'd rather take the opportunity to educate them.  There're a lot of them in my house.  And they don't have to be roleplaying games to be addictive. 
I'll admit I made mistakes before being of this opinion, but that's how we learn. Since, I have played games with them because it's neat to be able to do that and see each other look funny and give each other novel items to play with and chase each other around. Then we logged out and chased each other around for real. 

The definition of gaming is evolving and not always for the best.  Parents need to go beyond setting limits they don't enforce because the child is occupied/quiet. They need to illustrate why it's important to set standards for themselves and to minimize the ineffective push/pull of game time.  Then their kids don't become the adults who abuse their children because they are so invested in Hello Kitty Island Adventure (haha). As for the adults who are already abusing the games they play.. perhaps more recognition for the problem of addiction is in order.  Mostly people who don't understand it just call it pathetic.  I won't argue with that, but the addictive culture we live in should be addressed in a way that goes beyond substance abuse and help offered for the many ways we latch unhealthily onto things.  Addictive personality isn't attached to nearly enough things and it's not clearly understood or valued for what it is. IMO

I am a gamer...in pretty much any sense of the word (well except in confusing game with reality hehe).  I enjoy playing a wide variety of games from traditional card games (like poker, trumps, solitaire, rummy) to tradable card games (like Magic the gathering or on line trade-able card games like Legends of Norrath), from pen and paper roleplaying games (the kind with dice, like dungeons and dragons) to videogame/computer fantasy adventure games (like the Elder scrolls) to MMORPG's (I play everquest and have played others in the past).

Gaming has so many bad stereotypes...and I'm not denying that there are people out there who live up to those.  I am sure many of us have heard the stories of people who have committed suicide after their character 'in game' died.  HOWEVER, I disagree with the assumption that every person who plays a game is a horrible low-life looser who can't tell game from reality and obsesses about every aspect of the game.

I think  part of the big problem with online games is shared with online interaction of any kind:  people are motivated more strongly by a sense of "will I get in trouble for this" as opposed to "is this the right thing to do".  I have met horrible people online in games...and horrible people online in forums.  BOTH share a similar behavior.  They mouth off, are deliberately insulting and generally go out of their way to make everyone else's life miserable, because they CAN.  The worst that happens is they get banned, and often they can just make a new account and come right back (or hop to another game/forum and start all over).

There is definitely an addictive pull to games.  There always has been.  Old school video games (especially ones on gaming system's like the nintendo) were very time consuming.  Many lacked a 'save' feature, so if you were 2 hours into a game and you stopped playing, you might have to redo all of that if you wanted to continue onward.  Most games today have a save feature....except for MMORPG style games.  Instead the MMORPG games 'save' when you log out...so there is no 'reloading' if something doesn't go well.  Some of them have very time intensive things that you can do (like raiding...working together with a larger group of people towards a 'epic' style goal...which can take several hours to complete and must be done in one sitting).  Also, developing content for online games is very time consuming, and so many online games have a variety of 'time sinks'....activities intended to occupy the player for many hours by having them repeat similar actions to gain a reward (raising crafting skills by making a hundred swords or killing the same creatures over and over hoping to get the 'rare' named one that might drop the item you want).  These types of actions keep players busy in the game, and thus continuing to pay the fees to play..nothing kills a game faster than players reaching the 'end' and having nothing left to do.

Having said all of that, I think that games (be they online or otherwise) are not less dangerous or harmful than other pastimes.  I don't see a difference between the person who logs into a game for 3 hours a night every night and the person who sits down for those same three hours every night to watch tv.  It is true that some hobbies (especially sports) are healthier in the sense that they are more physically active and thus better for your body than most types of games (which typically involve sitting before a computer or tv and game system)...but gaming isn't any worse for your body than sitting at the comp watching youtube while chatting with your friends on facebook.

If you enjoy playing games, one of the really great things about online gaming is that you can play with people who don't live anywhere near you.  I play with friends I have known in real life but no longer live near.  I play with friends I have had for over five years now and have never met in real life.  I play with people from Germany, Australia, England and all over the world.  With VOIP (programs that allow you to speak to other users via a headset and mic attached to your computer), you aren't even stuck to typing, you can hear the voices of the people you play with.

Is calling them 'games'  of any kind, when they cross into the real world ethical?

I think all games cross into the real world in one way or another, given the fact that players are involved in them.  If I go play a game of basketball at the neighborhood park, I (as a person) am having real world interaction with the other players, both inside and outside of the context of the game itself. 

What do you see as the  dangers in always escaping to an alternate reality to ease your stresses....instead of working thru your problems in real life?

The dangers (to me) are very similar as the dangers for other forms of escapism.  Many people have tools that they use to escape the stresses of real life....some (in my opinion) are more hazardous to your health and those around you:  alcohol and smoking.  Even more mundane escapes, like reading, can be taken to excess, where someone might feel more 'at home' lost in the story than they do in their daily life.  Good and proper stress relief should be taken hand in hand with working through your problems...but I don't see anything wrong with unwinding with your hobby of choice as well.

Sure, they can be fun, as long as the real life human moderates himself so that he stays in the real world and the real world and the make-believe world don't begin to seem one and the same.

I would say this is one of the biggest things that everyone should keep in mind when discussing gaming of any kind.  The minute that the lines between game and reality start to blur, the minute you find yourself not just 'getting into character' but really feeling like you ARE your character, then you need to seek professional help. 

Also, I definitely agree that if you start neglecting your real life responsibilities for any game or hobby, you need to seriously resort your priorities.  If you are playing in your spare time....I don't see it as a problem.

Games themselves are not ethical or unethical either way.  They're just games.  It's the actions of the players that make it one or the other. I personally think too that it is a matter of perception.  Society is addicted to the sensationalist garbage that is put out by mainstream media, which is nothing more than a viscious old lady spreading rumors about others to gain attention (in essence).  Let's face it, there are a great number of very good things going on in the world every day, but when was the last time the good outweighed the bad in the media? Everyone wants to hear about the 'gamer' who was so addicted that they were online for so long that they lost their job, their house and everything else.  Funnily enough, no-one wants to hear about the young executive who is successful at work, has a nice house but just happens to spend every free moment he or she can on WoW.  They are both addicted, but the second scenario makes a horrible story, even if there are more of the second type than the first.  People get flooded with how apparently 'bad for you' gaming is and that gets to be the popular opinion due to a complete lack of any other information. That does not mean that it's true or accurate though.

I always laugh when people who are not gamers say gamers have no life. It's true there is a minority that sit at a computer playing online things to the exclusion of all else - but I know far more RPGers who play LARP or tabletop who have an even better social life than the non-gamers I know. They do their thing during the week; uni, work, whatever, then on weekends they are out with their friends, doing something harmless that they all enjoy.  What's the difference between that and someone who plays skirmish every weekend? Nothing - except gamers get less bruises and it costs less.

And of course it's addictive.  Anything you do that you feel passionate about is addictive. Anything that can take you away from the stressful, mundane world is addictive and for some that even includes knitting. It's the person doing it that has to find their own balance and if they do not, it is not the fault of the activity they are doing. The responsibility lies purely with the person to decide when enough is enough. It's a pity society as a whole has forgotten that little factor, hmm?

Willau, I applaud you, that is an awesome post and everyone needs to read it  OFTEN.

Willau wrote:

There is nothing wrong with the imaginary life, as long as the physical being comes first. Too much time spent in an imaginary world (although it does exist in the individuals own reality) only slows our progression in spiritual ways.

This is a very important part of it.  Not knowing when to  set the imaginary aside, and make the physical world come first. 
Do you spend time visiting with friends, whether it be a night out for dinner, picnic at the park..or a cookout around the pool.
Do you do things with your children....play hoops, have an impromptu ball game with the neighbor kids in the back yard, bake cookies with a child, visit the zoo, go boating on the lake,  teaching them how to garden.......etc.........

In the physical life....you're the boss....with a few surprises along the way.  In the imaginary world...as in really playing Robin Hood with your buddies, or playing dress-up with your girlfriends, these are some of our 'formative' games that we learn lessons from that will be with us as adults.  I keep going back to  what children would do since it is often what we did as children, or saw our parents do, that set the patterns for us that 'stick', usually beginning pre-pubertal, or pubertal.
So....just take a moment and think about it....you might be surprised what you 'remember'.

With the RPGs out there, and there are many to choose from, the Creator of the game is the boss....he..or they...are the ones that determine when 'you' (your character) do what... when... in a variety of ways which determine how 'you' finish  the game.  With all the games, you can quit playing whenever you want...or start the game over if it doesn't turn out like you want it to.  Real Life isn't like that......there is no OFF switch, and no one else is responsible for  real life except you.

Willau wrote:

Each & everyone of us are here in this physical realm for the purpose of expanding & evolvolution of the conscious entity that we are. If one chooses to focus on non-physical imagery, then progression for our ultimate purpose of physical being suffers.

This is so true.  Don't lose this opportunity to expand  yourself.   Live for every moment and your spiritual growth will continue to build a very strong foundation.

Willau wrote:

IMO, we all create our own reality, which in turn, has an effect not only on ourselves, but the entire "whole". For instance, if one chooses to use poor health as an excuse to spend time in an imaginary world, then there is no "time" to heal one's self & interact & affect other's realities. Every conscious being has the ability to reach beyond disabilities and shine in thier own way.

If you want to 'make a difference' in the lives of others, volunteer  at a rehab center, or nursing home.  Everyone there was your age once, and in their minds still are.  The disabilities they suffer from weren't asked for.  Think about how you want to be treated.  If you were injured and lost the ability to walk, grew older and needed help to get around doesn't mean  your mind is not active and young.  There are some who use disabilities to get what they want, but most have dependent personalities to start with.....the true 'disability' just helps them learn  how to get what they want without making any physical attempt.

On the spiritual  side of it...it  is an amazing feeling to see the expression on faces, when someone touches base with their inner self.......you can see the Life appear.  We  all really need to keep our spiritual side turned on all the time, not just when we think we have time.  It should be automatic just like breathing.

Oh dear.....I have written another book...lol

This thread is really excellent, with wonderful posts by everyone.

Again....Willau this is an awesome post, and is sooooo inspiring.